a very very pessimistic first post of 2008, in my journal.



i think i am suffering from some sleeping disorder.
this thing has been going on since few months ago.

really hate it when my eyes just refuse to shut tightly, even though i am very tired.



i feel as if everything's going to topple on me, don know why.
unlimited bills that's supposed to be settled yet not settled, eventually create a big mess.
why cant human be more organised, instead of accumulating everything and then taste the pain at the end.

i am guessing that my mobile number is blacklisted by m1 already.
this is the 4234741124578 times my line got disconnected due to unpaid bills.
after i complete this 2-year plan, i am going to sign up an account on my own and pay my own bill rather than under my mother's name since she doesnt even inform us about anything, how can we ever help.

getting frustrated over many things.
from minor to major.

school has already started for both my brothers, and mine will start this coming monday.
seriously, i have no idea how to help both of them already. i have tried but, that doesnt work.
they themselves are young adults already and they should learn to cope simple things by themselves such as waking up for school.

my mum will sms me around 6plus in the morning, asking me to wake them up. can you imagine that i have to wake up at around 6plus just to wake them up yet they still lie there and probably doze off despite knowing the time. and, i will have to keep myself awake just to make sure that they are really up and preparing to get to school. most of the time, i will have to shout for them at least twice, or thrice. why cant my mum bomb my brothers' phone instead? why cant she call him/them until they are fullly awake?

am really sick of all these.




i am really really tired, but i just cant get to sleep in peace.
please, let me resume my healthy sleeping routine.
please, give me some beautiful sleep(s).
i want to sleep soundly throughout the night.

and randomly, please knock some sense into my brothers. let them be more sensible and sensitive towards others. lead them to the correct path, please guide them.



i, do wish to forward time.