received sim letter on tuesday.

mixed feeling - excited at first but when i open up the envelop, i was so shocked to know that school will commence on the 2nd of july (which is 2 weeks from then).

dateline to apply: 23 june 2007
enrolment talk: 25 june 2007
orientation: 27 june 2007
commencement: 2 july 2007

what the fiarking hell is wrong with sim.
they rushed us to send our application but they took hell long to send us the fiarking letter of acceptance. well, now then rushed us to donate them $5k odd for this coming semester in such short notice. if only i can shit money out for them!

sadly, parents didnt plan well enough for my future. sold away the insurance partly because they couldnt afford anymore and that they have no choice because they have got three insensible kids to take care of.

it's like...
i bet none of you understand.


so perhaps i have got only three choices now.
1. to borrow money from friends/relative.
2. to borrow money from bank.
3. to not study.


choice 1 is only 20% possible because nobody will want to lend such a huge amount.
choice 2 is 99% because bank will be more than glad to earn money from you BUT, they will want me to dig out a guarantor with annual income of at least $24k/$30k! tell me where can i find? i know it's easy for some of you, but not me.
choice 3 is really the wise choice for the time being. **

so...
as much as i want to study, i cant.
as much as i want to be with my friends, i cant.
as much as i want to get a degree to secure my future, i cant.
as much as i really want to study... i am financially disabled.

help me.



feeling so frustrated that i cant think of other stuff now. these few days, i have been forcing myself to wake up to think about this problem.
i have been thinking and thinking about it that i really feel frustrated, demoralized and sad.
wanna cry.
if only tears can turn into coins. why coins? because i don mind picking up all the coins so long as they add up to the amount i need for now.


is either i go to the bank tomorrow and applied for another half day leave, or i should start looking for a permanent job now.



sigh.
i want to study. someone please hear me...
help me.