I don't wanna fight no more
I forgot what we were fighting for

---

it was a long long journey...


i'm not the kinda person who bears grudges.
it's all about forgiving and then forget about the negative issues that have being going on and on.
i don see anyone as enemy.
but i do see people who are out to hurt me and my beloved.

anyway, it would be great if everyone on earth can be nice, genuinely nice. no fake artificial in one self.
the world would so-much be a peaceful and beautiful place to live in for all of us.

since primary school, i have started learning how to see who is good and who is the rotten.
my best friend who back-stabbed me to get her guy's attention; childish.
two-headed snakes, i hate this most.

if you're nice, you're nice.
if you're bad, you're forever bad.

it's easily to judge who is genuine and who's not because i have seen too many already!
life's so short, why must one live in such tiny earth with full of hatred and revenge.
human(s) must all learn how to forgive and forget instead of stabbing each other all the time.
it hurts to be stabbed.
won't they be guilty of the wrongdoings?

some times, it's really bad to get involved in troubles all the time. at the end of the day, i myself will be the one who lose out in any sense.
i admit that i have changed from a nice girlfriend to a girlfriend who betrays my own boyfriend.
but you're wrong to be saying that i am out to play with all the guys.
"no back up so i stick to my own boyfriend?" what nonsense is this? no offence.
"even if i don step in, other guy step in also like that," it may seems this way on the surface, but if that's the case, how come there wasnt any other guy before you even stepped in?

it's not easy to fall in love.
trust me.

not every guy/girl will be attracted to each other so easily.
i have seen many guy and i have got many guy friends, so does it mean that i have to be in love with all of them?
i dont.
because there isn't any chemistry.


now that everything has come to an end, i have already make up my mind and i know i have done the wrong thing.
i have learned my lesson and will never repeat such thing again.
it's self-control, someone told me before.
self-control.

having being the one hurt all the time because by nature, i hate to hurt others unless otherwise i have got no choice.
i am never happy to see people feeling down because i can feel them.

whatever that happen, i am thankful that i have got such experiences. i don bear grudges moreover regrets.
i couldnt possibly turn back time so instead of being furious and revengeful, why not just take it as an experience/lesson learnt?

since the first of this month, i have made a vow myself.
from now on, i will love my boyfriend wholeheartedly.

i know i need evidence to prove to everyone that i can, to people who have hanged out with me and see me through this problem, they know the difference in me - the way i think, my actions etc.
to people who do not know me well thinks that this is just another rubbish i am saying. these people have long lost faith in me. to them i am just a bad girlfriend and a slut and i don deserve such a nice boyfriend. "a leopard can never change its spots". but people, it's not as if that i have been doing this with many other guys. it's only my first attempt. (ya, now i know people are going to say... "if there's the first, there will be the next."

rest assure, no such thing.


before such thing happen, i am a nice girlfriend.
during this incident, i am a lousy girlfriend.
after such incident, i have learned my lesson and learned how to treasure my boyfriend even more. definitely will return to the girlfriend you used to love.

thank you darling for giving so many chances. your patience is priceless.
i cant find another you on earth and i believe you're the only one left.
people may think that you're silly/stupid to be doing this. i will never let you face such disgrace anymore.
the love we share, is always between you and me.
others can never guess what we are thinking about. they are too shallow, too narrow minded.

if only we can both disappear to an island with only me and you.
this is part of of love journey darling. more obstacles there will be in the future but as long as we are cool with it, things will be fine.
it makes our love journey interesting and full of experience.
tough. real tough.
we must hold on. hold my hand till eternity.

we're entering the next phase of life, shall we help each other overcome every single problem we face?
i want to be with you forever. (yes, forever finally does exist in my dictionary!)

through all the good and bad times, i will be there.
i will love you till the end.



* i don have any name(s) mentioned in this post. my intention is clear, no offence to anyone.
** "The grapes are sour anyway!" - It is easy to despise what you cannot get.
*** what i wrote may be all craps to you. why bother reading then? no hard feelings.